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Dear Celebs: Chapter 95,000

Dear Lindsay Lohan, Really? You just showed up? The last time you had a court date you went Roman Polanski on the Justice System and fled to France. While I haven’t been able to stand you since Mean...

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Dear Celebs: Part Does It Really Matter at This Point

We’re going back to the well, but in my defense, it has been a while since I had to resort to this. *-*-* Dear the Situation, You’re making five million in the next two years? That’s not right. It’s...

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Dear Celebs: to Infinity and Beyond

Back to the well? Back to the well. I don’t know why I never have anything ready. I do two or three of these every week. It’s not like I’m surprised. Anyway, here’s more of me whining at the beautiful...

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Dear Celebs: Dear Oscars

Did you guys know the Oscars are only like days away? Maybe weeks, I’m not sure, but definitely days away. It’s almost certainly not tomorrow. Probably. I know this because my day job is working the...

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Dear Celebs: Huzzah for the Short Week! Huzzah!

Dear Charlie Sheen, You win. Everything I tried to do with the Michael Bay character you tore down, burnt the wreckage, salted the earth, then ascended to the heavens like a god reclaiming his rightful...

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Dear Celebs: The Heroically Super Edition

Dear Wonder Woman Marketing Team. Which one of you geniuses thought this was a good idea? You’ve made someone who’s supposed to be a warrior, diplomat, and in the TV series, a CEO look like she bought...

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Dear Celebs: There are Doings Afoot Edition

Sometimes me shouting at rich people for being too dumb, too pretty, very famous for doing very little, or not wanting to let me sex them isn’t enough. There’s a lot of shit that goes down in Hollywood...

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Dear Celebs: Tomorrow, We Ride at Dawn Edition

Dear Darren Aronofsky, What in the Screaming Blue Hell are you thinking? You drop out of Wolverine as, perhaps, our only real hope for a decent movie starring the ol’ Canucklehead, to work on an “edgy”...

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